it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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