alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I love you. Go after that dick
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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