this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
