YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
