HIV tests are more positive than that guy
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
