Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
whose parrot is this?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
