what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
