all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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