Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize