So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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