went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
