Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
