I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
