oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
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