the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Randomize
