I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize