Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
