Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
