And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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