my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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