I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
She needs sedatives and a leash
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
