so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
