So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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