Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
