I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
The dick lei will go down in squad history
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize