I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
