Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Just high enough for therapy.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
