She's never allowed to turn 21 again
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
