I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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