You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
