If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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