Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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