I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
