Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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