some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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