32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
