David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
