after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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