I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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