watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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