you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
