i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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