take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
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