just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
