i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
