Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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