you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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