it wasn't lemon gatorade
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
