you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
