9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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