just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
