all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
im calling her cock vulture from now on
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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