I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize