WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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