That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
