You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
