bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
