question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
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