apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
