ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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