Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
